


Never Have I Ever Kissed You (But I Want To)

by vintagelilacs



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Confessions, Drinking Games, Fluff, Jealous Arthur, M/M, Modern Era, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23564446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vintagelilacs/pseuds/vintagelilacs
Summary: The crux of the matter is Arthur has never kissed Merlin.Really.He would remember.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 38
Kudos: 749





	Never Have I Ever Kissed You (But I Want To)

The bass from the music pounded in Arthur’s skull and made every bone in his body vibrate. Gwen asked timidly if Morgana could turn the music down to a level that wouldn’t leave them all prematurely hard of hearing, but Arthur retreated to the kitchen before he could hear Morgana's reply, intent on another drink. He was drunk enough that a hangover loomed on the horizon, but not drunk enough to be giggly or stupid like everyone else present.

By all accounts, Arthur should have been reveling in the chance to party. His exams were done, his university career was finished, and it was his twenty-second birthday. But if he’d thought having a university diploma would provide him a sense of accomplishment and direction in life, he was sorely mistaken. 

It didn’t help that he was single. Again. Not that there was anything wrong with being single, per se, but when he’d gone through more breakups than Taylor Swift and couldn’t hold down a steady girlfriend (or boyfriend), he knew he had a problem. He’d even read one of Morgana’s self help books about commitment issues, but the book hadn’t told him anything he hadn't already known. It wasn’t easy entering into a relationship, or even being satisfied with his inevitable single status, when the one person he wanted was someone he couldn’t have. 

A pair of hands covered his eyes, startling him into spilling his newly opened beer. “Guess who!” 

“Is it… my useless toad of a roommate?” 

_“Noo.”_ Warm breath fanned against Arthur’s ear. He fought not to visibly shiver. “It’s Merlin.” 

“So I was right then.” 

Merlin pulled back. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright from alcohol. For all that Arthur teased Merlin of being a lightweight, it had soon become apparent that of the two of them, it was not Merlin who struggled at holding his liquor. 

“Careful,” Merlin warned, “or I won’t give you this.” He brandished a cupcake smothered in lurid pink icing with a single lit candle on top. 

Arthur raised his eyebrows, not letting on to how the sight of a flushed, bright-eyed Merlin made his heart race. “What, am I not good enough for a proper cake?” 

Merlin snorted. “We don’t want any more holes in your belt.” 

“Hey!” Arthur cried in mock outrage. “I’m fighting fit.” 

Merlin shook his head. “Make a wish already, you dollophead.” 

Arthur held his gaze a moment longer before pursing his lips and blowing out the candle. Merlin stared in silence at the extinguished candle, before lifting his gaze to meet Arthur's. Arthur swore their eye-contact lasted a beat longer than usual. For a delirious moment he wondered if his wish might come true, before Merlin averted his eyes, breaking the spell. 

Arthur cleared his throat and elbowed him lightly. “Well? Aren’t you going to ask what I wished for?” 

“‘Course not. It won’t come true if you tell me.” 

“Mm, I’m fairly certain that’s just a superstition.”

“And wishing on a candle isn’t?” 

“Oi, lovebirds! Get over here.” Arthur tensed. Leon didn’t mean anything by the comment, none of them ever did, but his words instantly made Arthur’s mood sour. It may have been a joke to the rest of them—the thought of him and Merlin as an actual couple—but he’d been nurturing a pathetic unrequited crush for years. 

Noticing the abrupt change in Arthur’s mood, Merlin’s face fell, before he plastered on an unconvincing smile. “Come on, sire. Your people await.” 

“If I’m the king, what would that make you? The court jester?” 

Merlin scoffed. “Please. I’d obviously be your manservant. I already spend all my time picking up after you.” 

“Yeah, right.” Merlin wouldn’t know what to do with a cloth and bucket if it was dumped over his head. 

“When was the last time you actually did any laundry yourself? You do know it doesn’t magically do itself, right?” 

“Doesn’t it?” 

Merlin rolled his eyes. Together they joined the rest of the party. Gwen was sandwiched between Lancelot and Morgana on the couch. Elyan and Leon stood on either side like a pair of sentries while Percival and Gwaine leaned against the wall. Arthur pretended not to notice the beer stain on the carpet. He’d clean it up in the morning. Or perhaps cajole Merlin into cleaning it. 

He really wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, but it was his own birthday party, and he couldn’t very well leave. Or order everyone else to vacate the flat. 

“We should play a game.” Of course it was Gwaine speaking. 

Arthur opened his mouth to veto the idea but Morgana beat him to it. “Yes, let’s!” 

Oh, joy. 

Gwaine’s grin could only be described as lecherous. Well, technically it could also be described as indecent, licentious, or lewd. “How ‘bout seven minutes in Heaven?” Gwaine’s gaze dragged around the room, before landing on Merlin. He winked suggestively. 

Arthur stiffened. As usual, Merlin didn’t seem fazed by Gwaine’s attentions. Arthur wondered if he secretly welcomed them. 

“Excellent!” Gwaine exclaimed before anyone could answer or provide input. “Glad we’re all agreed. So, who wants to go in the closet first?” 

Elyan spoke up. “All in favour of locking Gwaine in the closet, say ‘aye.’” 

A chorus of voices answered him. 

“Oh, you lot are no fun.” 

“Why don’t we play truth or dare instead?” Gwen suggested. 

There was absolutely no way Arthur was playing truth or dare. With his inhibitions already lowered, he didn’t trust himself to resist the temptation of doing something monumentally stupid, namely daring Merlin to sit in his lap and make out with him for hours. “What are we,” Arthur asked, “thirteen?”

“Let’s play Never Have I Ever,” Morgana decided. She met Arthur’s gaze, tilting her chin in challenge. “Unless you’d like to play strip poker.” 

“Never Have I Ever sounds fine,” he answered begrudgingly. 

She grinned. “That’s what I thought. We all know the rules?" 

Everyone nodded. It was a simple enough game. Make a statement, drink if you've done it. 

"Good. In that case, I’ll go first.” She paused for suspense. “Never have I ever gotten a donkey mask stuck on my head.” 

Gwen let out an undignified snort, before clapping a hand over her mouth. “Sorry.” 

Arthur glowered at them both, before taking a swig of his drink. “It’s not funny. The mask wouldn’t come off. It was traumatic.” 

“I’ve always said you’re an ass,” Merlin teased. 

_I’d rather think about your ass_ , Arthur thought but wisely did not say aloud. 

Gwen went next. “Never have I ever eaten food off the floor.” Everyone else drank. “Seriously? That’s so unsanitary. Et tu, Lance?” 

He shrugged. “I don’t like letting good food go to waste.” 

“Wise man!” Gwaine applauded. They went around the circle, most of the rounds tame in nature, but a few pertaining to sexual exploits. 

“Never have I ever said ‘I love you’ to get sex,” Elyan said. He did not drink. No one else did, save for Arthur. 

Morgana gasped in feigned disbelief. “Arthur, I’m appalled.” 

“When was this?” Merlin asked. His judgy, raised eyebrow would have made Gaius proud. 

“Don’t look at me like that. It was with Vivien. Remember her? Most obnoxious woman on the planet.” 

“But not the most obnoxious _person_.” Merlin looked pointedly at Arthur as he spoke.

“Oh, ha ha.” 

“My turn!” Gwaine announced. “Never have I ever been blackout drunk.” Gwaine took a sip of his drink to illustrate that he had, in fact, been blackout drunk. Many times, for that matter. 

Everyone except Lance drank. Ever the noble knight, he invariably volunteered to be the designated driver. 

It was Arthur’s turn next. His pulse sped up as he formed the words. “Never have I ever fancied someone in this room.” He was surprised at his own daring. It was clear he was a glutton for punishment. 

Everyone, Arthur included, took a sip. He was surprised to see Percival and Elyan drink, but he supposed that they, like Leon, must have been in lust with Morgana at some point. Most people were, before realizing what a harpy she was. Arthur was more interested in the fact that Merlin had sipped from his drink. 

Arthur's stomach swooped as he watched Merlin’s tongue swipe over his lower lip, chasing a drop of alcohol before he lowered his drink. Who had Merlin fancied? And for how long? If it turned out that he’d also once fancied Morgana, Arthur would be tempted to curl up and die on the spot. It seemed more likely, however, that Merlin’s feelings lay elsewhere. Perhaps he shared Gwaine’s feelings? Arthur had suspected at one point that Merlin may have had a crush on Lance as well. 

They went around the circle once more. Arthur only half-listened until it became his turn again. He steeled himself. “Never have I ever kissed someone in this room.” 

Elyan didn’t drink. Surprisingly, everyone else did. Merlin included. 

Arthur had shared an awkward, fumbling kiss with Gwen during their senior year of high school, and they hadn’t spoken of it since. He could only guess that Morgana and Leon had kissed at some point, likely as a drunken whim. Gwen and Lancelot were a no brainer. As for Percival? Arthur had no idea whom he’d kissed. Truthfully, he didn’t care. His brain stalled as he watched Merlin. God. It was so obvious. He and Gwaine must have kissed. Perhaps multiple times. Maybe they still did. Had they ever progressed past kissing into drunken one-night stands? Were they even drunk when it happened? And had it been one-night stands? Or multiple night stands? 

“You okay, Princess?” Gwaine jostled his shoulder. 

Arthur had a childish urge to punch him. “Fine,” he clipped out. 

“Are you sure?” Morgana asked, leaning forward. “You look like you’re about to be sick.” 

“Had a bit too much to drink,” he lied. 

“I think we’ve all had a bit too much,” Gwen added. “Should we call it a night?” 

Gwaine looked crestfallen. “It’s barely past two a.m.” 

Leon, the only one among them who still used a watch, double-checked the time. “Some of us have work in the morning, unfortunately.” 

Morgana flicked the sound speaker off. Arthur showed everyone out, politely thanking them for the not-so-secret surprise party.

Gwaine released a desolate sigh as he fetched his coat. 

“You can take some beer to go,” Arthur offered charitably.

Gwaine instantly cheered, clapping him on the arm in gratitude. “Now I know what you see in him, Merls.” 

Merlin bristled, clearly offended by the insinuation. 

Arthur swallowed tightly. He hadn’t expected Merlin to be pleased with the joke, but he needn’t look so offended. Surely dating Arthur wouldn’t be that terrible. Not that he had the best track record. 

Once everyone had filed out, Arthur rounded up empty beer bottles and packets of crisps. Merlin joined him silently. 

“It’s fine. I can do it.” 

“I don’t mind.” 

They lapsed into silence. The alcohol made Arthur’s thoughts sluggish, but his mind was stuck on a loop of Merlin sipping from his drink during their final round of the game. 

“Everything all right?” Merlin asked softly. 

Arthur’s hand tightened around a beer can. If he’d been a little less drunk and a little more in control of his higher reasoning, he would’ve bit his tongue. Instead, the words burst from him without his consent. “When I said ‘never have I ever kissed someone in the room’, you drank. Who did you kiss?” Arthur couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his tone. “Was it Gwaine?”

Merlin blinked in surprise, his head reeling back. “What? No.” He sounded more affronted than defensive.

“Who did Gwaine kiss, then?” Arthur pressed. 

“Seriously? Are you blind?” 

“Gwaine flirts with you all the time.” 

“Yeah, as a joke.”

“Right.” 

“He only started after he found out that I… well…” Merlin's voice tapered off. 

“You what?” 

“Never mind.” 

Arthur huffed. “If not Gwaine, then who did you kiss? Don’t tell me Lancelot—”

“It was you.” 

Arthur’s thoughts crashed to a jarring halt. “What?” 

Merlin ducked his head. “Two years ago. After exams. We celebrated at the pub. You were totally pissed so I took you back to our flat and tucked you into bed.”

His mouth went slack with shock. “And you kissed me?” 

“ _You_ kissed _me!_ ” 

“That… that’s completely ridiculous.” 

“Well, our lips definitely touched—there was tongue involved too!—and I can assure you I’m not in the habit of kissing blokes who are completely sloshed.” 

Arthur stared numbly. All these years he’d fantasized about Merlin’s lips, about snogging him senseless, and it turned out they’d kissed before. “I don’t believe it.” 

“Yeah, well, sorry for disgusting you, but you’re the one who did it, so don’t even think about blaming me.” Merlin turned away. 

“Merlin, wait.” He fumbled blindly for his hand, and ended up latching onto his wrist. 

“Let go.” Merlin’s voice was like ice, but his face was hot with anger that practically radiated off him. 

Arthur floundered for words. “Do you know what I wished for?”

“What?” His brow furrowed at the non sequitur. 

“When I blew out the candle.” 

Merlin tried to tug his arm free. “I don’t care, you massive prat!” 

Arthur’s grip tightened, before relaxing. “I wished for you.” 

“You’re an ass.” 

“I’m not joking.” 

“Yeah?” Merlin laughed harshly. “Then why are you always trying to talk about girls with me? Or even other blokes you find attractive? You've made it clear you're not interested in me.” 

“I was trying to figure out what your type is!” 

Merlin stared. “You cannot be that stupid.” 

“Hey!” Arthur immediately protested, even though he wasn’t sure what, specifically, Merlin was referring to. 

“It’s you. It’s always been you.” 

Arthur felt unsteady on his feet, and not only because of the copious amounts of alcohol he’d imbibed. 

“Why do you look so shocked? Everyone I’ve dated since I met you has been blonde and blue-eyed. Gwen teased me mercilessly when she first made the connection.” 

“You... like me.” 

“That’s literally what I just said, if you were paying attention.” 

“Prove it.” 

“What?” 

“Kiss me.” 

Merlin hesitated, as if trying to discern whether or not Arthur was taking the piss. 

“It is my birthday,” he added. 

“I hate you so much.” Merlin informed, before tangling a hand in Arthur’s hair and slotting their mouths together. Arthur’s pulse soared. Merlin’s lips were soft where his own were chapped. It didn’t feel like a first or even second kiss should. It felt familiar. As if they’d been doing it all along. And they should have been. 

Arthur’s breath hitched as they pulled apart. “No you don’t. You _like_ me.” 

“Can’t stand you at all.” 

“You, Merlin Emrys, fancy Arthur Pendragon.” 

“You’re wrong.” Merlin’s lips twitched. “I could never fancy someone who refers to himself in the third person.” 

“Does that mean you won’t kiss me anymore?” 

Merlin shrugged, his eyes already zeroing in on Arthur’s mouth. “Well, I suppose since it is your birthday.” 

Arthur may not remember the first kiss he and Merlin shared, but he remembered the second. And the third. And every other one after that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
